Ultimate Showdown!

Go to the theultimateshowdown.net and vote for:

• Jimmy Page!
• Mikhail Kalashnikov!
• Caboose!
• Donut!
• R. Lee Ermey!
• Kurt Cobain!
• Jack the Ripper!
• The Rutles!

I command you! Do it...now!

Animation!

Games I recommend to you:

• Space General - World War IV (you can grab a free trial version on the web)
• Marathon Trilogy (the whole trilogy - Marathon, Marathon 2: Durandal, and Marathon Infinity - has been released as freeware on trilogyrelease.bungie.org!)
• Command & Conquer: Tiberian Dawn (also freeware)
• Akalabeth (an old game from 1979 - also freeware!)
• The Elder Scrolls - Arena
• Wolfenstein 3D

We Be Checkin' Out Theses, Ya'll!

Yeah. I know these are terrible. But hey, roll with it. After all, nothing's cooler than a hard-rockin', America-lovin' skeleton, or a Black Mesa security guard.

RANT!

I want to use a kitten in an oven to throw a rock into the sun. World War 2,375,023,865,374,563,535 lasted from 65 to 11 BC. Serial killers taking art classes. There is a band called The Doors to Nirvana. Sticks. ButtonHunt 3 is the greatest game ever.

91 years ago today, World War I, a devastating war in which 16,000,000 died, came to an end. Today, we celebrate this day as Veteran's Day. That day marked the end of a nightmare for the youth of the Lost Generation. Today, there are three living veterans of the First World War-Frank Buckles (USA), John Babcock (Canada), and Claude Choules (UK).

Good News!

Oh, by the way, the health care bill has passed the House of Representatives. We are one step closer to providing health care to all Americans. Conservatives think that it's socialism, but, hey, they aren't that smart.

This...is...STRANGE!

Filtered!

CHECK THESE OUT, TOO!

Brushie-Wushies!

Check out my brushes, ya'lls!

HOORAY FOR WEIRDNESS

I'm baaack!

Now, please observe (and report) these modified pictures that, thanks to the evil magic of Photoshop, have become weirder than a cat exploding to eat a mouse made of iron...

This is Mr. Spock from the Star Trek saga! Thanks to the aforementioned evils of Photoshop, I have given Spockie-Wockie the ability to shoot lightning out of his eyeballs! Yay! Oh, and he also has the ability to have freckles. Woo.

"Waiter, there's a spider on my pizza!" Now, I have put spider peoples on a pizza! Yum!

Fred. The. Demonic. Dinosaur. That's right. In the year 2009, dinosaurs are allowed to be demonic! Now, prepare for the greatest heavy metal music video ever! After all, nothing's cooler than a demonic dino!

When the world needed a savior...When anarchy ruled...there was...LASER LLAMA! The savior of Earth was a llama with the ability to shoot fragmented laser beams out of his eyes! Photoshop RULES!

Comrade, thank you for coming to my wedding. Now, let's have a piece of COMMUNIST WEDDING CAKE. That's right. The only wedding cake that will wipe America off the face of the Earth and end capitalism and the pigs behind it forever!

"Giddy up", indeed, Mr. Horsie, unless you would like to join the skeleton rider in eternity. As a skeleton, nonetheless. And everyone knows that riding a skeleton with a crossed lap is smart. Maybe that's how the rider died.

Little known fact: the first tattoo parlor was opened in 65,000,000 BC by Raaargh the dinosaur. Of course, when the extinction event that killed the dinosaurs occured, business faltered, and Raaargh was forced to close his parlor shortly before he died in the resulting nuclear winter.

Remember Fred? The demonic dinosaur? This is his partner. But he's not as cool, so there.

Apparently, this igloo exploded. An eskimo had just finished some vodka and decided to smoke. You can see the result.

I'll be back shortly

Go Here!

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNKAzYlgUIa-7S0iz9BYg4UGCTqIVtJxJodqnAYrQc7QYM3nGinF2kywcsrOEUA_cYow2HmXsIg0LpHA8d8oj5I4ey8pyGEnFnSeUrefWc_1H3Vw4rDhquk7D0bKqxKEnS8SaGPHwUTno/s400/128341086610156250Isawzacarrot.jpg

Getting Better

I will now begin regretting what I said about Photoshop. I am so terribly sorry, Mr. Photoshop. I mean, I still want the entire design team sent to a forced labor camp and mmade to work long hours, but hey, I did do something...totally worthless...with Photoshop.Check out this poor girl. I made her lips blue and her eyes a really creepy color! I named her "Slaneeshaston." Oh, and, by the way, if you stumble across this, girl-who-I-Photoshopped-mercilessly-and-is-the-one-pictured-above, I'm sorry, but Chuck Norris told me to do it! And if I refused, I would be obliterated!

This gopher needs to see his real estate agent and get a better home. No gopher deserves to live in a cup! Wait, he's a gopher person. Gophers don't have real estate agents! I shall help him!
There! Now, he is homeless. Stupid gopher, cups are for people! So, in conclusion, I apologize to Photoshop for all the honest, cruel, harsh meaniness I heaped upon you. Now, Chuck Norris will not erase you from existence, but instead, just give you are wedgie that will tear off everything below your waist. Meanwhile, I shall laugh.

Eat Cheez-Its Until You Explode into a Ball of Pure Fire, Photoshop!

PHOTOSHOP SHALL END...FOREVER...

DEATH TO PHOTOSHOP!

I tried to use photoshop today. And now, I want to destroy every last person involved in the creation of this EVIL software! Photoshop is a terrible calamity. It's worse than 9/11, Pearl Harbor, the Hindenburg disaster, and Rosie O'Donnell combined! I wanted to put Tina Fey's beautiful face...

...onto the HEV suit of theoretical physicist and savior of the human race Gordon Freeman...

...but NOOO, I can't. Why not? YOU DON'T WANT TO COOPERATE WITH ME! Photoshop's design team will soon encounter Chuck Norris, and he won't be giving them autographs! Yay!

Welcome to All Sorts of Strangeness!

YAY! Today is a great day to be alive! On this day, which is certain to go down in history, ALL SORTS OF STRANGENESS has been launched! September 29th shall be a holiday! And, on Sept. 29, 2509, the quincentennial of the launch of ALL SORTS OF STRANGENESS will be celebrated everywhere! I will become so wildly popular that I'll...

• ...marry Tina Fey!
• ...be worshipped as though I were a god!
• ...become Chuck Norris' best friend!
• ...and become the new star of the Half-Life saga!